show less skin next time, it's unflattering

I can always tell
which photos of me
are going to get the body shaming
so I make a valiant effort
to title them things like
‘Badass Bikini Broad’
and
‘Fabulous Fatkini’
and
compare myself to Oscar Wilde
and
brashly decorate the captions
with a multitude of flirty face emojis
as a preemptive “SO THERE!”
since I’m rarely incorrect
regarding this sort of prediction